TRANQUILITY

Artwork: Self-portrait with my own book.

TRANQUILITY

Surreptitiously my heart has been stolen,
And it is lost to the wind from East,
Which brought the fragrance of jasmine,
As if it is the occasion of some feast.

Slowly, slowly, it blows from my sides,
Touching my skin and stealing my heat,
Giving me a shiver of cold like ice,
It blows like a mad elephant running on the street.

The pandemonium of birds have created such a view,
The formations of their flight compels me too,
To fly above clouds without leaving any clue,
To get lost among stars in the sky, dark or blue.

The inflorescence of sunflower,
Or the petals of roses,
In this enchanting hour,
Something proposes.

My restless heart has been eased,
See who has come to my door,
By seeing whom even nature is pleased,
See who has come to visit the poor.

Mad like a river, my emotions flow,
To heal my wounds, my lord has come.
To give me strength for I was feeling very low,
To show me way in dark, my light has come.

What a tranquility my soul has got,
As if a hungry kid has got enough food after years,
I am just mesmerized at this slot,
This joy has dissolved all my sorrows and fears.

I wipe my tears, I control my choking throat,
For my reason of delight has come.
I was lost in this world like in ocean, a boat,
I am happy that my season of delight has come.

The blossoming flowers and the bees around,
Are welcoming whom? Only you, only you!
Intoxicating thoughts of mine have come to an end,
The colourless life has got new tint and hue.

—Rahul K, An Unsung Anthology

Featured

All India Radio: Recording of the programme “Story of a young warrior Rahul Kumar”

I was invited by All India Radio to discuss about my journey with cancer, poetry, teaching and research in Science with the youngsters. I have uploaded the recording of my yesterday’s programme of All India Radio on YouTube now. Those who have not listened it but want to listen, can listen it using the given YouTube link.

THAT SAD FACE

In all of my albums,

In all of my snaps,

I see everyone smiling,

Except that girl with sad face.

I cropped her,

I removed her,

I considered her,

Omen of misfortune.

When everyone else looked happy,

Cheerful, shining and colorful,

She appeared sinking deep,

In despair and pain.

But all celebrations,

She did attend,

Silently with our happiness,

She tried to blend.

But who cares for her efforts,

She appeared sad,

For our feast,

Wasn’t it bad?

But one gloomy day,

To that sad face,

In all my photographs,

I decided to look again.

I found it missing,

The face was missing,

The girl was missing,

And missing was all sadness.

I was struck with horror,

How could it happen,

How on cursing someone,

Could cause her images to disappear?

I called her in hurry,

With my heart beating hard,

And came to know,

That she was no more around.

For how long she was dead?

Her mother replied with tears,

For as many months as she kept her,

Inside her womb before her birth.

Like a thunderbolt,

Something hit me hard,

And then all her memories,

Started to appear spontaneously.

By seeing her sad,

In my hour of delight,

I didn’t even open her gifts,

Which she brought for me.

I unwrapped the packs,

I opened the boxes,

I got a piece of paper,

With every gift she brought.

I collected all those papers,

I started reading in hurry,

She just wrote best wishes for me,

In return of of all my reluctance.

She wrote that she was dying,

She was suffering from cancer,

She had little time left,

In her last letter.

How couldn’t I understand,

A girl dying in despair,

How couldn’t I utter,

Even a word of kindness.

Instead I cursed her,

For appearing sad,

In all my photographs,

Considering it bad.

But she was already dead.

Half she died of cancer,

Half my reluctance killed her,

An unintentional murder!

Even while she was dying,

She couldn’t stop loving me,

To see me in my happiness,

She kept visiting my feasts.

But when she realised,

That I wanted her to go,

She disappeared from my life,

And from all pictures too.

Alas! How couldn’t I understand,

Or even asked her reasons of pain,

At least as human I shouldn’t have been,

Hard towards her in vain.

An unrequited love,

For love of a dying girl,

I wish if I could have held her hands,

And let her live a little more.

A U A

BOOK REVIEW 3: “WONDER”

My 3rd Book Review cum Summary:


My two earlier reviews of the books “The God of Small Things” by Booker Awardee Arundhati Roy and “Disgrace” by Nobel Laureate J.M. Coetzee were quite appreciated. Here, I am going to review the 3rd book I read recently, i.e., Wonder by R.J. Palacio.

“I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives.”

-R.J. Palacio

Sometimes God deprive some people of some qualities that make their lives quite difficult in the mainstream society. But along with that deprivation comes something as add-on. This is what I feel after reading, now one of my favourite books, “Wonder”.


The book emphasises on choosing being kind over other choices like being smart or beautiful. This is story of a little boy, August Pullman, nicknamed as “Auggie”, born with a face deformity. He kept wearing an astronaut’s helmet that was gifted by his father on a Christmas to hide his face whenever he goes out because people stared at him and some even ridiculed him. He was home-schooled by his mother for many years but now his parents feel it necessary to admit him to a school so that he may get exposed to the society. The boy was a sensitive kid and as expected he was often ridiculed for his facial features by others in the school. He was even bullied by some of his classmates like Julian who belongs to parents who belongs to one of the big business houses of the city due to which Auggie didn’t like to go to school for initial days.

Auggie had parents who were extra careful for him. Auggie also had an elder sister who also had recently joined high school and she craved for her mother’s love that was totally dedicated to Auggie. But gradually time made her understand the situation.

Auggie was a smart kid with great interest in Science. Auggie loves Star Wars. He got a friend too at the school. His name was Jack Will or simply Jack. Jack was an average kid. He was not that good in Science but Auggie helped him in studies. After so many days of humiliation and isolation Auggie finally had a friend. Halloween was Auggie’s favourite holiday because he remained in costume with face covered and didn’t get stared by anyone weirdly. One halloween, Auggie wore a skeleton attire. His face was hidden. He saw his friend Jack talking to Julian that he behaves nicely to Auggie because School Principal Mr. Tuchman had told so otherwise he didn’t like him at all, he went forward in saying that he washed his hands after touching Auggie so that he wouldn’t get plague. Jack didn’t know that Auggie was there as he was behind the Halloween Mask.


It was a heavy day again for Auggie. He cried alot. But his parents and sister consoled him. From next day Auggie stopped talking to Jack. Jack didn’t understand the reason for it. One day everyone was making fun of Auggie which Summer didn’t like. Summer is another classmate of Auggie. Now Summer and Auggie were friends. Auggie told Summer what Jack was saying about him.
Jack wanted to be friend with Auggie again. It was under peer pressure in group of Julian that he uttered such words for Auggie. Jack asked Summer about Auggie’s reluctant behaviour towards him. Summer gave only one clue “Skeleton Mask” as she promised Auggie not to tell anyone what he shared. Jack realised everything. One day Jack even fought with Julian for ridiculing Auggie for which he was even suspended from school for two days. By coincidence it was Science exhibition in School after few days and teacher made group of two keeping Jack and Auggie together in one group. Jack apologized to Auggie. Auggie forgave him too. They were now friends again. Both of them won first prize together in Science exhibition. This was not liked by Julian. He bullied Auggie again and this time after getting caught by a teacher, Julian got suspended. Julian was sorry this time but his parents pulled Julian’s name out from the school.

Gradually everyone started liking Auggie. Whole class became his friends. It was graduation ceremony and Auggie was awarded the Henry Ward Beecher Award of the school which was awarded to the kid who “carried up the most hearts”. Everybody applauded Auggie.

In this simple yet heartwarming story, author has tried to show us different facets of life. He has tried to show that by being good you can win hearts irrespective of your external beauty. He has tried to show that all lives are not same and nobody knows exactly what other person is going through in his life, so author considers being gentle and kind is the highest virtue of life as reflected by an incidence in the story where Mr. Browne, English teacher of Auggie’s school while teaching a lesson “Precepts” told everyone in the class:

“WHEN GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN BEING RIGHT OR BEING KIND, CHOOSE KIND.”

Thank you. Enjoy reading.

A U A

WHEN I WOULD LEAVE…


I would leave in silence,
Without saying a “good bye”,
Breaking every alliance,
Ignoring people passing by.

I would leave in mid-June,
In the afternoon of summer,
When everyone is busy or asleep,
Engaged enough not to bother.

I would leave like a bubble,
That appears only to disappear,
Free falling in vibrant colours,
Only to lose its existence forever.

I would leave like a caterpillar,
Casting away older identity,
Metamorphosing into a butterfly,
To fly away from fraternity.

I would leave in an hour,
When I am in noone’s thought.
I would leave on a day,
When I am the least sought.

I would leave in the moment of chaos,
When everyone is busy solving his mess,
And don’t have enough time to recall,
My sins, my failings, my goodness.

I would leave in the state of oblivion,
When I don’t see anyone sheding tears,
Regretting my departure and crying,
Keeping me bound to my past and fears.

I would leave being unsung,
With no greatness and glory,
Like a boring topic,
With no written saga or story.

I would leave in a flash,
Like a streak of lightning above,
To wonder around like a shepherd,
Only with my precious freedom to love.

A U A

Design of Books

bookbinding

A standard book has a “scientific design”. There is a rich history of “publishing and designing a book”. We read lots of books but never realise this fact that the way books are available today is the result of great research and innovation since antiquity when Greeks and Egyptian used to record information on the sheets of Papyrus (made of dried grass) and Indians used dried leaves for the same purpose. Indian rulers went as far as recording information in the form of Tamra-Patra (copper-sheets). But carrying huge rolls of papyrus or metal sheets of Tamra-Patra was not feasible. Innovations after Industrial Revolution came to make information handy when a design of book was realised as we find it today. Happy reading!

BOOK REVIEW 2: “DISGRACE”

I have “tried” to review and summerise a very beautiful piece of work by the Nobel Laureate J. M. Coetzee that I recently finished reading. It was a daring job for me to review this “complicated” work without any biases and preconceptions. I wish the readers too would look at the review without a bias of any kind. Happy reading!
“Poetry speaks to you either at first sight or not at all. A flash of revelation and a flash of response.”
― J.M. Coetzee, Disgrace
Though this book is not a collection of poems, I picked up the lines from the book to start with due to my love towards poems. Also through out this book the famous romantic poet Byron appears now and then to be given as an example at different situations.
The book unfolds unseen and often misjudged layers of human affairs, his attachments and passion, love and lust, pride and disgrace, sin and sufferings. The thing that is seen as a scandal by the outside world may be a compulsive act of desire manifested at a wrong place or timing or marred by the ulterior plans of someone. At the centre of the story, there is only one character named Professor David Lurie who teaches Communications and Romantic Poetry at Cape Town Technical University and all other characters, his two ex-wives, his student Melanie, his daughter Lucy, prostitute Soraya, helper of Lucy at farm Petrus, manager of pet care centre of the countryside Bew Stew, etc.
David Lurie was an old man and he is often depressed due to his sexual desires and was finding some way to get rid of it. He was a divorcee and came across a prostitute named Soraya for release of his sexual urges. He became her regular customer and started liking her but Soraya had a family and she was into prostitution for livelihood of her family including her small children. One day Soraya left him and told him not to bother her. Lurie was again all alone.
At this point I would like to add that old people in our society feel more lonely and isolated. We make them feel more isolated by chaining them in our shallow social and moral obligations that we don’t even opt for ourselves.
One day Lurie fell for his student Melanie. Physical relations were also built among them but by mutual willingness. Lurie never forced Melanie but Melanie’s boyfriend played a trick by making Melanie to file a complaint of sexual harassment against professor Lurie. He became infamous and often trolled and harassed by others. But he didn’t accept that he had done something wrong and left Cape Town and went to stay with his daughter Lucy for few days.
Lucy lived alone at the countryside like a hermit. She worked at the farm, sold farm produce and lived a monotonous and hard life that was not liked by Lurie. Lurie came to visit her for a brief period but situation made him stay for long. Lucy also had a helper named Petrus. Lucy was a young and beautiful girl and only white person in the village. But she owned a decent home, a combi used for carrying farm produce, pet dogs and a big farm. Lurie, to get rid of his boredom started helping Bev Stew who was in charge of the pet care centre of village but irrespective of the name of her “centre”, there was not very much availability of medicines rather she was involved in giving peaceful and “respectful” death to the abandoned pets. One day Petrus was out of the village and at the same day three men forcefully entered Lucy’s home, robbed many items, stole Lurie’s car, injured him too and most abominable of all these, they raped his daughter Lucy. Lurie couldn’t do anything as he himself was injured. Lucy told Lurie not to tell anyone what happened to her. Lurie filed a complaint of robbery against those men. Petrus returned back with a new wife and wealth. Started new constructions and seemed happier. Lurie doubted Petrus to be a master mind and by coincidence one among three men was the brother of Petrus’s wife. Lurie was angry and wanted to give them a lesson but Lucy misbehaved and told him to stay away from her that he doesn’t know what happened at that day with her. Meanwhile Lurie had physical relationship with Bew Stew too. Lucy was found pregnant and she refused to abort. Petrus promised Lurie to take care of Lucy. Lurie returned back cape town once again. Lurie went to meet Melanie’s father to ask about her wellbeing and also to university to find that his position and office was already occupied by someone else. He returned to Lucy but was not welcomed by her. He started helping Bew Stew in giving peceful and “respectful” death to the abandoned terminally ill pets after giving them their affection for a day or two. Lurie’s major job was to carry the corpses to the electric crematorium and burn the corpses with respect to not let those abandoned dogs “die” in disgrace.
What was disgraceful? For Lurie, his daughter being raped and made pregnant was more disgraceful than the ways he was getting rid of his sexual desires. Lucy had fallen victim to three men having the same desire. At one point Lurie considers that the beauty of a woman belongs to society not only her own. At one point Lurie considered what happened to Lucy as a penalty for his sins. Bew Stew and Lurie himself never considered killing abandoned and terminally ill dogs to give them “respectable” death disgraceful. Likewise carrying a baby inside her was not disgraceful for Lucy too.
This book leaves a reader with a lesson that something apparently “disgraceful” looking act may not be “disgraceful” at all as we are fond of feeling shameful for deeds done by others instead of slamming and introspecting ourselves. Even if we try our best we cannot stand at other’s place to feel the same suffering and pain he or she is going through. Everyone has a right to live on their own terms. How could another human be shameful for the existence of another human like him?
Thank you
A U A

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